Thursday, August 15, 2013

Three Months

It has been exactly three months since I have said anything about anything. 

It still amazes me how much can change in such a short amount of time. Because honestly, three months is nothing but a blink of the eye...

There have been some changes in our household, The Chef is back in the kitchen where he belongs (cooking real food for real people). Jelly started playing tackle football. Butter is all signed up for brick and mortar middle school. Banana is playing hockey for two teams this year... 

And I started back to school. 

At the grand ole age of 36, I enrolled myself into cosmotology school. Besides the instructors, I am the oldest one there. Is it wrong that I find almost a perverse joy in that? I will admit that in the beginning I was concerned about my age, but it disapated quickly. 

There is so much to learn. Cosmetology isn't just about "doing" hair. Of course that's a large part of it, but there are several other things you need to have a basic understanding of; anatomy and diseases are a given but you must also have a basic understanding of chemistry and electricity. Let's just say, I didn't think it was going to be a cake walk, but I didn't think there was going to be much, much more. 

I am actually rather proud of myself... and it's not just for the obvious reasons (doing something with my life, taking the steps to help relive the pressure my husband carries daily to provide for us, you know... the usual) but I have been selective in who I open myself up to.

That's not saying that I haven't bonded with anyone. I did (almost immediatly) to a girl that in the class directly ahead of me. She's 19 (so yes, if you are keeping track, I am indeed old enough to be her mother). As cliché as it sounds, if I had a little sister, I would like to think that she would be this girl. Simply put, she is just an amazing human. 

I have made "friends" with a few people there, but with my eyes wide open. I'm being extremely selective in those I choose to care about. Instead of ignoring the warning signs as I have done so many times in the past, I tread lightly. I owe it to myself. 

Who says you don't learn from your mistakes?

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

I'm Practically Giddy (or Finding Control)


For the past (few) year(s), you would hear me say some of the following (and sometimes multiple times a day):

"My kids don't listen."
"My kids don't do anything."
"Look at how I sacrifice!"

That's what I did. I complained... and I complained a lot. Bless ChipBeef (fka The Chef) and My Sister From Another Mother (forever now known as MSFAM). They put up with me... and they did it with smiles on their faces. It's nothing more than a gigantic pitty party for one. 

I'm 36 years old and I don't really like me. I am nothing more than a whiny, hot mess of a woman that is afraid of tomorrow. If I know what's going to happen, I can be prepared for it. I do nothing but hide in the comfort of negativity. If something went wrong, I knew it was going to happen. If it went right, it was just a matter of time before it all would go sideways again. 

Then something happened

Yesterday, Butter and Pineapple had gotten under my skin and I decided to deep clean my bed and bath rooms. As I looked around, I noticed the handprints on the wall, the dirt that had collected in the corners, and the dust that covered the top of my dresser. A veil that I hadn't even realized was clouding my vision lifted. The condition of my rooms was entirely all my fault... and I never saw it. With sudden clarity, I truly understood that I had absolute control over this.

We live in a house that is almost too small for us... and we all just have a lot of stuff. That being said, when one or two things are out of place, it turns into a disaster. I did nothing to maintain it because I knew in a matter of minutes, it would be back to the same mess that I had just picked up... so I just didn't. Two things would turn into five, five things would turn into 10... you get the idea. 

Then the following three things would happen in this order: 

1) The house would stay in a constant state of disarray,
2) I'd fuss after The Babes to pick up with my only direction being "Now",
3) I'd finally have enough, clean a room and then get discouraged when less than 24 hours later it was a disaster again. 

It is nothing more than a horrendous circle... a circle that breaks today. 

The Babes are only children, and they do things as children their age will do. They will occationally forget to put a trash bag in the can when they take the trash out. Sometimes, they will forget to take something upstairs when I asked them too. It's to be expected. I forgot that... or should I say I didn't see it. 

Don't misunderstand me, I am not my family's maid. The Babes will continue with chores... but this time with more direction from me. Instead of saying, "kitchen", they will be able to choose what they do, the only exception is their rooms. They can run a vacuum, and sweep a floor, but I will be the one on my hands and knees scrubbing the corners. 

I can also control the sess pool that my vocabulary has become. See, I swear... and I swear A LOT. My boys have also started to cuss... and I'm not talking about the occasional "damnit". Let me lay it down like this, if I swore in front of my mom the way the boys swear in front of me, I'd have dentures because she would have knocked all of my teeth down my throat. I do get after them about it, but it's still bad. It wasn't that they said anything particular lately, but it needs to stop. If they stop hearing it, they will stop saying it. There is also the fact that when ChipBeef and I first started dating, I didn't really cuss. He said it was one of the things that he first loved about me (and he has brought it up once or twice in the last 12 years) that it made me more of a lady. I like that. I don't have to swear like a sailor on leave in general everyday conversation. I am the only one who can control that... and I'm making a very conscious effort. 

I know it's two very simple things, and as  rediculous as it sounds I cant help but take extreme comfort In the notion that there are at least two things in this crazy world that I have complete control over. I feel better today than I have in a very long time. I'm practically giddy. 

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

It has been forever

I don't even remember the last time I updated this blog. It's not that there hasn't been anything going on, there has been a whole lot going on, which is the reason why.

You ever get that "I'm completely overwhelmed and if I talk about it, everything is going to fall apart?" Yeah, that's pretty much where I was for the better part of a year. It's wasn't anything more than life... but life hurts at times.

ChipBeef (aka The Chef) has made a career change at the age of 41. He has obtained his CDL and will be driving a truck for a living. After 20+years in the food industry, he just got burned out, and burned out to a point where even thinking about stepping foot into a kitchen was hurting him more than helping us.

We were lucky enough that his first job out is with a company that says he'll be home on the weekends. I can't even begin to describe to you how much of relief that is. The babes are used to seeing him every few days (because of the countless hours spent at a restaurant) so it'll be old hat for the older 3. They will just have to help Pineapple adjust. I, on the other hand, would wait up for him to walk through that door. That is going to be hard.

There have been other things, but none of them are my stories in their entirety to tell. In time, as they impact my life in various ways, I'm sure they will come forth.

And I'm sure as I get used to this new chapter of my life, I'll post more because there will be more to talk about, more to discuss.

Till then...

Friday, July 27, 2012

Sometimes "The Man" Pushes Harder


Last year, after many hours of discussion, The Chef and I decided to pull Butter out of the traditional brick and mortar school and we enrolled him into an online charter school. For a while it was great. Things were more rigid than what the school had led me to believe I expected, but overall it wasn't that bad. That is until we hit the Earth Science unit. It wasn't coming easy to him like the other units were, and the only cool experiment was completed and filed away Long story short, he struggled... completely bombed a test and ultimately ended up with a 67%. According to the school that was a "failing" grade, and the school expelled him.

So, I went ahead and put together a traditional homeschooling plan (because there wasn't any I could justify sending Butter back to an environment where his teachers considered him a bother and other kids thought he was a punching bag) and submitted it to my local school district. In talking to other homeschooling parents in my area, they said it wasn't uncommon for it to take weeks for any sort of notification to come back to the parent. 


3 weeks after he was expelled (and 1 week after I had mailed out my notification letter to the district) I received a letter from the district's truancy office asking me why Butter wasn't at school. I call the officer and told him that I am homeschooling, etc. and he says "Great. Just wait for your notification."


Then everything imploded.
Yeah, kinda like that


The truancy officer started to call almost daily saying that the district never received my intent letter (my 
mistake was not sending the thing certified). He demanded that I gave him our address because he had stopped by the old house (Oh yeah, we moved across town) to do a home inspection. Our conversations consisted of him speaking down to me, telling me what a horrible parent I was because Butter wasn't in a brick and mortar school, I in turn, would talk to him as if I were trying to explain something to Pineapple. 


**Pop Quiz**
Because I was being a pain in the ass difficult, and wouldn't give into the bully, he called.... 

  1. The Chef (cell and work Numbers were school contact numbers)
  2. My Mom (emergency contact for school)
  3. My Mother-in-Law (emergency contact for the school)



If you answered "The Chef" you are completely wrong. He thought tattling talking to my mom was the best course of action. It didn't take long for him understand that he was going to get even less from her, no matter how nice/sweet/faux caring he tried to be. This got his panties even more in a twist and he started calling me again, but this time, he started to email me as well. Because the condensation that he unsuccessfully used before didn't get the desired response, he turned into flat out intimidation.  



I'm just going to leave this gem of an email here:

"Contact me immediately with [Butter]'s current enrollment status, and updated residency information. Failure to enroll [Butter] into school will result in the arrest of the parent/guardian."

"I'm going to have you arrested. Give me your address."

ha ha ha... right on top of that buddy
In all seriousness, all he had to do was a reverse look up of my phone number. We took it with us.


The Chef and I had MANY a... conversation.... about this. He kept telling me this wasn't the hill I was supposed to die on... and while I understood what he was saying, the thought of sending Butter back there was making me sick. 

I *knew* we were going to have to enroll him back into the brick and mortar school. I just waited until we absolutely had too. When I finally did, there was just over a month left. 


-o-o-o-

A week or so after school lets out for summer,  my mom calls me and tells me that I was served with a summons. I was being charged with Contributing to the Delinquency of a minor, and Failure to Send. Both are First Degree misdemeanors (in my state). The max. penalty was $1500, 6 months jail time, and 500 hours of community service. 

HOLY CRAP! I was getting charged...

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

It's.... Valentine's Day?

I do this thing for Valentine's Day...

I get my babes fancy lunches and give them a card that tells them that I love them more than anything in the world. I started doing it when Butter was in Kindergarten, and I have never missed a year...

...until this year.

Valentine's Day just snuck up on me this year. In fact I didn't even realize that today was the 14th until Banana spoke up at bed time last night and said, "I need 21 Valentine's, Mom."

Crap. "Jelly! How many Valentine's do you need?"

"I don't know. 100?" 

He got The Look.

"18 I think?"

Think? Double Crap.

So after the house had quieted down, and all the animals with both two and four legs were tucked soundly in their beds, I set off to work to make 21 (22 because it's a nice round number) girly-ish valentines for Banana, and 18 (20, because the word think is bouncing around in my head) boy-ish valentines for Jelly. 

Once I got the concept down, they took no time to put together. All it really took was substitution for boy-ish patterned paper with rock star/glam patterned paper. 

Voila, 42 valentine's for children class parties.

BUT

I just completely forgot. My stupid tradition that I started all those years ago, and I forgot about it. Butter, Banana, Jelly, and Pineapple received no special lunches, and no cards to tell them how much I love them.

I tried to make it up to them by making them pink chocolate chip pancakes and sausage for dinner. A special "Valentine's Dinner". Even though they said they enjoyed it, even though they thought is was hillarious to be eating pink pancakes, There was no magic moment at the cafe table, your mom telling you... JUST YOU... that she loves you...

I won't forget next year. 

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I'm going to try

I don't have the willpower (like most people I know) to carry through with resolutions. So I am going to try... it's the most that any of us can do.

I'm going to try... to look on the brighter side of things. I used too. I know I can again.
I'm going to try... to be better towards my fellow man even if they are not better towards me.
I'm going to try... to keep the promises I make to myself.
I'm going to try... to follow through with my projects.
I'm going to try... to be more productive.

What are you going to try and do with this year?

Saturday, December 31, 2011

What I learned in 2011

Normally this post is about the awesome things that made this past year great. Unfortunately, 2011 had been a cruel master and I can only think of a handful of things that would make that list. So in keeping with the Top Ten tradition that has become my end of the year post, I give you this:


Top Ten Things I Learned in 2011
(in no particular order)


10. For every thing you do, there will always be someone telling you that it isn't good enough, you're not good enough, it was okay but it would have been better if you did it this way. If you let those people infect you, you too will become toxic. 

TL;DR Toxic people suck, and eventually they need to be cut out of your life like a limb that has gangrene. 


9.  Just because you acknowledge that things are the way that they are, doesn't mean that you have to be okay with it. You have every right to be upset, angry, and as disgusted. Coming to terms with the situation let's you actually move, and not just tread water. It's up to you if you move forward or backward.

TL;DR Acceptance isn't a synonym for capitulating.


8. My grandmother taught me not to hate people. She told me that it is easier to hate people than it is to love them. "Hate" she said, "is easy. It takes no energy. It is the laziest, loneliest way to live." I can honestly say that I have never felt that way towards anyone... until this year. She was right, HATE IS EASY. It was such a wonderful feeling, and I held onto it. Eventually though, I realized that by hating these people, it meant that I still cared. I was continuing to let them hurt me because I still cared enough to feel anything towards them, even if it was something as ugly as hatred. 

TL;DR Apathy is better than Hate.


7) I always say that "loyalty" is one of my negative traits. I love passionately, ferociously and with all of my being. Once you reach the inner circle and I call you friend, I am one of those people that will defend you even when I know you're wrong, and give you the last five dollars in my pocket. I have very friends who don't turn into family, and because once I love you, I give you my power. In 2011, two people used my love for them for toilet paper. After a while, the woman I have loved like a sister since I was old enough to remember, pointed out to me that I was keeping people at arms length, and pushing others away. She told me that I was overly guarded, like I couldn't trust her anymore. 

TL;DR Trust is a fragile thing.


6) Even as a child I have loved nail polish (even though I couldn't put any on in the house because my mom is severely allergic and it would send her straight into an asthma attack). They have always been weak, brittle things that pealed. One of the first things I did when I moved into my own place was buy nail polish, and I learned how to take care of my nails so they grow and be strong. It beome a ritual with me: Sunday night was mani/pedi night. Somewhere along the way this year, I just stopped doing it. Sunday just became another night, and I neglected them, night after night, week after week, and am now showing the wear. They are short, and frayed and just over all icky... and I put a coat of polish on them last night. I didn't buff them and smooth them out. I just slapped on a coat of clear and called it a night. But today, seeing them shine a little in the light, just knowing that it's there raised my mood immensely. I couldn't believe that I had stopped ever doing it. 

TL;DR Remember to do that one small thing that makes you happy.


5) When there is something dramatic going on in your life, it's all encompassing. It's all you can think about, it's all you can deal with, and you go to those closest to you, just so you don't have to hear your thoughts anymore. You talk with them, they do whatever their designated role is (listen/offer advice/etc.). You might even get a free beer or two out of the deal. Just be careful that you don't end up becoming that one guy at the office, or in your group who tells the same one story so many times that it can be recited it by memory.

TL;DR Shut up, people have their own stuff too.


4) After putting in over 140 job applications for anything and everything you can think of, and not getting a single face to face interview (if the emails saying you don't have the right qualifications to mop the floor don't make you scratch your head, how about the follow up phone call that basically said was that they aren't  getting hire you for a dish washer position because your husband is a chef. Yeah, that last one didn't happen to me, but to a friend), telling yourself that your state has an unemployment rate of 9% only works for so long. I did hear about a place, and I went in to talk to the guy. I'm a regular so he knows my face. I told him I needed a chance. He understood that. We'll wait and see, but it has been the most promising of things for a job outside of the house that I have had since I started looking for a job. 

TL;DR It really is who you know.


3) The Chef and I have never really had a 2 year old, meaning that what people have described as the "Terrible Twos" I have never witnessed first hand. Pineapple has decided to show us all of the great times we were missing out on. She throws tantrums. She is stubborn. She will make herself cry and blame her brothers. She will make herself cry and blame the dog. She eats one thing at dinner, but has to have everything on her plate. She thinks that "no" applies to everyone but her. She wants what you have until you give it to her, and then she gives it to the dog. She gets mad if you don't do whatever it is she wants you to do Right. This. Second. She will make herself cry and blame her sister. She will ride our American Bulldog like a pony (I blame the dog for this because the dog lets her). She is frustratingly adorable, and there has been many a day this past year that she has made me smile despite all of the problems. 

TL;DR A babies laugh can make everything right in the world.


2) When things were at it's worse this year, The Chef and I had many a well wisher say to us, "There's always a light at the end of the tunnel." (It's been turned off due to budget cuts.), "It could be worse" (You're right. It could be. Check back with me tomorrow and I'll tell you how it got worse.), and the classic "Things will get better." (Yeah, I know this, but that doesn't really help me today now does it?) But during all of it, one of my dearest friends reminded me why I love her as much as I do. I was talking to her on the phone, and told her of the latest crisis that had happened. To which she responded with "You're life sucks, Alicia. It just blows." She wasn't being sarcastic, she meant it. She wasn't being mean, she was just stating fact. I can't tell you have happy it made me for her not to blow smoke, and just be with me, for me, 1000% on my side. We have always been candid with each other, and we are always on each other's side.

TL;DR You need that 100% honest friend who will always have your back.


1) We did experience a grand act of kindness this year. It wasn't asked for but offered. It's hard to remember that there is good things, good people in your world, when the universe is busy knocking your feet out from underneath you (did I mention that it likes to point and laugh at you too?). It was something that in the grand scheme of things didn't really matter, but it mattered to us. 

TL;DR Even when the light is off at the end of the tunnel, sometimes people come by with a flashight.