Friday, July 23, 2010

Understanding Butter

My Butter is awesome. He has some mad skillz on anything that is electronic. He tries so hard, and is super considerate. He wears his heart on his sleeve. You know EXACTLY what he is thinking... and when that thought entered his head... every devilish little thought. Butter also has ADHD.

His preschool teacher talked to me about it, and said that Butter reminded her a lot of her son, and her son had ADHD. I wrote it off. I told her that it was because he had never been in that environment before, blah blah blah. I was thinking that he was a boy... and that this is how boys were. Boys are supposed to be rambunctious and bounce off of the walls. Besides how can he be hyperactive? Have to ever seen him zone out on video games?

Kindergarten comes, and at the first conference, she says something about there being a possibility that something isn't quite right. Eh... this is all day Kindergarten. He's just getting used to it. The Chef was already in South Carolina by that point, and he knew we were getting ready to move. She agreed that it very well could be nothing more than that.

In South Carolina, when he was introduced to his teacher, she was told "He is very young". She wrote off his behavior to not being the youngest in the class and socially immature. I also contributed a lot of what he was going through to the move. I mean we moved quite a few states and away from everyone. He is having a helluva time... Butter is one of the big reasons why...

We are back here for First Grade. And although he made the cut off for Kindergarten where he first started going to school, he was too young at the last two schools. Ok. He is the youngest in the class. I mentioned the possibility that he could have ADHD... his teacher told me she really thought it was a immaturity issue, and holding him back would do him a world of good.

Finally, after the umpteenth meeting with the second first grade teacher, and the school councilor and the principal, I threw my hands in the air, looked at the teacher and said... "I think I should just call a neurologist." She said... "I think you should." So The Chef and I talked it over, and I did.

His doctor looked at us during his consultation, and said, "Why is this intelligent boy here?" The Chef and I looked at each other... Butter had been up and down, and when the doctor asked us this, Butter was sitting on his lap going through his desk. We walked out with a prescription that day. I felt guilty... like I had done something wrong. I felt like I had let him down... and I had in a way. The doctor said that if it wasn't for the fact that Butter was so smart, he would have saw him when he was 5.

I dove head first into his new world. I looked up everything I could about ADHD. I read about the medication, and what it would do to him. I just did what any parent would do. Slowly we started to notice a difference. And then he was there in all his glory. He was the child that I only saw glimpses off before, the one I knew was always there.

We exhausted every option before we decided to medicate him. It was not an easy decision, but there is not one day I feel guilty for giving him his pill in the morning. I feel guilty if I miss the "magic hour" and he doesn't get it. He is making friends... the best way that he knows how. He missed the "how to make friends" stage of his life because I refused to admit that there was something else there. But he is making friends. He is concentrating and doing excellent in school... he made the Merit Roll last year. He is reading, and not just reading comics (although... there is NOTHING wrong with that). He is starting to get adventurous and he is actually putting down the video games and doing other things. (He told me that he liked to play the video games because his brain wasn't always "on" when he was playing them.) He wants to play cards, and draw, and make music.

There is such a stigma about your child being medicated for ADHD. Hell, ADHD in general still has a stigma attached to it. Even from those that are nearest and dearest to me make the occasional comment about how it seems that every child they know has it. In all actuality, it is only a small percentage of children aged 4-17 have been diagnosed with ADHD. There is so much negative surrounding this diagnosis, many forget the positive... and there is such a well of positive.

For instance, Butter is extremely creative. He wants to play with my paper and make things. Not scrapbook per se, but he wants to make books, and boxes, and... things. He draws and he will keep at it until what he saw in his mind is what is on the paper. He loves to go to Home Depot weekend with his grandfather. He is just so uber creative...

He is caring. We were watching Up, and there was this part towards the end that my water works started. Jelly told me that I better not cry during Toy Story 3 (I did), Banana told me to basically knock it off, but Butter, he teared up too and asked me to stop because he hated to see me cry. He came and sat by me for the rest of the movie, and as long as his sister and brother weren't looking, he held my hand.

He is a very strange mixture of class clown and being introverted. He does things left and right to try and make us laugh, but he is perfectly content to be on his own. He is such an AWESOME kid. I mean truly incredible creature, and what is so amazing is that this his true self shining through. What Butter is now is what was always there... we just had to find the bridge to take us there.


  1. Don't beat yourself up. The big thing is you found the bridge and you have 'found' him. I have never met Butter but if he is anything like you he is nothing short of amazing and I hope to see lots of him very soon.

    ((hugs)) my friend.

  2. I understand all of this. Derrick also has ADHD and takes meds every morning. Sounds like he is doing well :) Hang in there sometimes they can grow out of it as they get older.

  3. What a fabulous post! I wish every parent who refused to give their child medicine for ADHD would read this. He is so lucky to have you!