It's Complicated

I've been wanting to blog for a while... but the only thing of note was how The Chef and I were assulted and betrayed by people whom we loved... but I didn't want to continue to give them power.

Am I giving them power now by mentioning it?

It just seemed everytime I turned around, scabs were ripped off, and the freshness produced more hurt. I wasn't looking for it, but it always seemed to end up on my doorstep.

But its done now. The door has been slammed shut.

The people who assulted us, who took away what was ours, have closed the doors.

Like I said... it's complicated.

When being an optimist just... sucks

I "knew" that life was going to get tough. I "knew" that things were going to change, and that I would miss him, and that the babes would miss him. I "knew" he was going to be tired... like he hasn't been tired before. I "knew" that I had to support him... and it was going to be nothing like the support I had given him before.

I "knew" all this, I swear to you I did. 

But here is when being an optimist just... sucks.

In the period of the 6 weeks or so that the restaurant has been open the following has happened:

1. Banana had a game an hour away. She didn't have her elbow pads or mouthgaurd.
2. They have eaten more junky, fast food than I care to admit.
3. They have become entitled and expect drinks and junk at ice rinks.
4. I had to explain to the Kindergarten teacher that The Chef and I haven't split, Sundays are the only day he really sees his dad anymore.
5. Butter got sent home from school for telling his teacher to get bent.
6. They see a weakness, and are poking Momma till Momma roars.

I wasn't ready for... this ... and I am a "give me two weeks notice so I can process all of this" kinda girl. This blindsided me. I had convinced myself that it was going to be ok... 

The babes and I are faring. 

But damn I didn't think my stress level was going to be at the "red alert" stage... all the time

And because I was unprepared for exactly how this was going to change my family dynamic, I have over compensated on somethings, and went stagnant for others. I have made some iffy decisions, and have found the "do not cross" line. 

Now that I do know how this has affected the 6 of us, I KNOW it. 

I just have a feeling I'm going to have to stock up on some red bull.

New Year, New Tag Line

I should have known better than to put in a tag line that wouldn't fully describe what exactly this blog is about. It's my ramblings, it was supposed to be about me and not so much the babes, but yeah right.

Because see, I am a stay at home mom. My job... which in turn is my life... is taking care of those 4 little bodies. And with The Chef opening his own place...

Oh, did I mention that?

90% of my readers know me. They also know that The Chef opened his own restaurant. But for the fraction that stumble upon this blog either by link or clicking that "Next Blog" button at the top of blogger, they may not know. But yeah, He did.

The Restaurant

Since Jelly has been 3, The Chef has worked a normal 9-5 dig. He was the executive chef at a local hospital and was in charge of any and all food. It was stability, it was weekends off, it was nights free, it was boring. He was going to crazy because well, he was better than that... and knew it. The stars aligned properly, and a half drunken conversation ended up with a restaurant.

HOLY CRAP what did we get ourselves into?

It hasn't been quite a month since the doors have been open, and it's been a massive adjustment for all of us. Jelly told his teacher that he "Doesn't get to see his dad that much, except for on the weekends" which meant that I had to explain to them that The Chef and I didn't split up, it's just that he's working. The threat of "Wait until your dad gets home" has become null and void, and I have to take them all to hockey practice.

So as the new year begins, I decided to change the tag line to more accurately describe what you will read here. Sure, my ramblings will be included, but it is about "Mom" me more than anything else. It's about being a single parent without really being one. It'll be about how I deal with it all... the ups and downs, and even the sideways...

It's just another's account on life.